The Vital Link: How Authenticity Unlocks Trauma-Informed Triumphs in Community"

by Sarah O'Brien with Insights from Fihmiya Hamdan

How many places and in the presence of how many people do you feel you can be your true, full, authentic self? I mean the real deal; on your best days, on your worst days, when triggered in your nervous system, when achieving something great. For some, this place and these people are often family; either family of origin or current family system, or both. For some others, it is certainly not their family. So, if not family—blood relatives—then with whom and where can you be yourself…and not feel bad about it? 

A word on trauma and authenticity

If you’re anything like me (a person with developmental and attachment trauma), it’s not many places. Maybe none at all. Maybe you are always putting on your ‘best face’ no matter who you are with or what the context may be. Maybe you’ve never had the experience of feeling like you don’t have to tailor your behaviors or responses to ‘fit the context’ of the moment. If that’s you, I feel you, I empathize with you, I am you. I have moved through nearly my entire life never feeling like I really belong, and never feeling like I could be accepted if I show up as my real, full, complicated, messy, beautiful self. This has been true in my family system. This has been true in various friend groups. This has been true in different faith communities. This has been true in workplaces. Especially workplaces. Since when did past lived experiences of trauma neatly fit into life…and where it doesn’t show up or interfere with work? Since when did symptoms of mental or physical illness neatly fit into life? Since when did ‘always putting on your best face’ turn into the norm, and being an actual human is considered taboo?

It’s time to normalize imperfect authenticity

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know it’s not working. It’s not working for me, and it’s not working for pretty much everyone else either. Why? Because it’s impossible to never have a ‘bad’ day, a ‘bad’ moment, a ‘bad’ reaction—in every context and situation where there is more than one person. This is going to happen. It’s normal. Humans are imperfect. Humans make mistakes. Humans accidentally hurt others with our actions and words. Humans carry unknown biases that affect self-view, other view, and overall outlook. And once you add the impact of trauma into the equation, well ‘bad’ moments are to be expected. People will experience an activation in their body due to their past trauma, guaranteed, at some point in their life. It’s not intentional or premediated…and likely is a complete mystery to those around that person. Like, “why are you getting so upset over this?” is likely due to trauma (both the question-asker and the person their speaking to). And, “I don’t understand why you can’t just communicate clearly” is likely due to trauma. Also, “Are you crying at work right now? Why in the world can’t you keep it together at work?” is likely due to trauma. Just because it makes no sense to you doesn’t mean it isn’t important. It’s extremely important to that other person. It’s their experience. If we don’t give space to folks to have their own experience (without tailoring it to always meet the needs and expectations of others, or the group) then it’s not likely they will show up authentically. Why? Because it doesn’t feel comfortable to show up authentically. Or it isn’t accepted by others for them to show up authentically. Ultimately, for that person, it doesn’t feel safe for them to show up authentically. So, they don’t. They won’t. They oftentimes, literally, can’t show up authentically because their past (likely unhealed) trauma wounds won’t let them…because it feels (and sometimes actually is) dangerous for them and their well-being to be authentic.

And it’s time to be the change

If we (all) don’t learn how to be in a space with other people, and allow them to be themselves (and not jump to taking it all personally) then we can all bet on being in places and with people where no one is really being authentic. And if no one is really being authentic, how can a legit community be created? And, if no one is able to be authentic, it’s not a trauma-informed space. Fihmiya Hamdan, award winning Community Manager and Specialist so importantly reminds us that “everyone has their own thoughts of what authenticity means to them and what showing up looks like. Some people still struggle with what showing up authentically looks like, so it’s important to consider that many are still figuring it out, and that’s okay.” Keeping in mind, someone showing up authentically might be them showing up without self-awareness about what exactly is authentic for them. We need to be aware of this possibility and still give grace and space, and voice and choice to these folks, too—increasing their comfort with learning more about themselves and showing up even more bravely as themselves within a community as time goes on.

How trauma informed values promote authenticity

Trauma-informed spaces allow, promote, and celebrate individual differences and it understands the uniqueness that exists within all of us based on our life experiences. Many, many, many of us walk around with lived experiences of trauma…in our bodies (nervous system), in our minds (worldview, self-view, thought processes and biases), in our emotions (intense in nature and can be unpredictable), in our behaviors (reactions to stimuli that send us back into that trauma place and acting/reacting from that place rather than what’s actually happening in the moment). This is all to be expected. This is all to be accepted. A few things I know to be true about trauma (and it’s adverse effects on people’s wellbeing and life functioning) are 1) people didn’t ask to be traumatized or to have the subsequent changes—in emotion regulation, reactivity control, and nervous system balance—as a result of experiencing a trauma(s) 2) people that are reactive and have difficulty regulating themselves are not healed from their trauma, rather than just bad or wrong or problematic people 3) people don’t realize how much their trauma has changed them and changed how they move through the world, including, and especially, how they interact with other people AND 4) people who have lived experiences of trauma often feel left out, excluded, judged, and not loved or cared for (often because of the adverse effects trauma has left on them). As I write this, I feel for those people. I hope as you read this it impacts the empathetic part of your humanity; and you can see why adopting a trauma informed approach to any and all places and spaces where there are people (i.e. work, faith communities, support groups, class rooms, workshops, exercise classes, healthcare settings etc. etc. etc.) is beneficial for ALL people…not just the ones carrying around trauma.

How authenticity breed’s trust

When trauma informed principles and practices are the foundation of any community, team, organization, volunteer group, social club, networking membership (etc. I think you guys get the point now, it can be, and should be, everywhere!) then it, by default, supports and promotes everyone’s authenticity. Allowing authenticity in others, and showing up authentically yourself, creates a synergy where trust can develop. If trust doesn’t exist, safety doesn’t exist. If safety doesn’t exist, people will not feel comfortable being authentic. And without authenticity, what are we really doing in these spaces and communities? Pretending to be perfect? Pretending to be a non-human? Because only a non-human won’t make mistakes. Only a non-human never has emotional reactions. Only a non-human doesn’t need healing from trauma. Only a non-human doesn’t need connection and to be seen and understood by others. So, if you are a human, you need all of the above…and that is okay…that is normal. That is literally what makes you human—desire for connection and support, as yourself, for yourself, without having to change yourself to get those things relationally. We all want this (even if you don’t think you do) and we all need this (even if you don’t think you do) and we all deserve this (even if you don’t think you do). To feel confident enough to show up as our full human self is a dream for many. To feel confident enough to show up as our full human self for those who have lived experiences of trauma is a pipe dream for many—impossible and unachievable. But, should it be? Should this be a DREAM (something that doesn’t yet exist, and has the possibility to never actualize); for people to have spaces outside of their homes where they can be themselves and not be judged, ostracized, misunderstood, and not cared for? My dream is for this to never be a dream for anyone, myself included. My dream is for this be actualized. My dream is for people to feel fully whole and fully loved and accepted, no matter season of life or current state they’re in. My dream CAN become an actuality. How? With trauma informed leading the way…for all people…in all places…for all of time.

If you want to lead a group, if you want to participate in a community, if you want develop a network (personal or professional) where you, and others, can be authentic, and feel comfortable doing it, then you have to be about trauma informed principles. Because trauma informed principles FREELY OPENS SPACE for EVERYONE TO BE AUTHENTIC, and still be accepted, celebrated, supported, and remain connected to others. Afterall, this what we all want and we all need, as humans (even if you don’t think so). 

Want more specifics?

Our wonderful, and trauma informed, community manager, Fihmiya, goes on to give a few specific examples of how to promote authenticity, with trauma informed practices, to create a trauma informed community space. She is someone who’s built many communities over the years, and offers a list of truths for authentic community that has value-alignment with approaching community development and engagement with a trauma-informed lens. And I couldn’t agree more with her truths!

Truths (what you will see in a community where trauma informed skills are valued):

-A safe space where people feel free to express themselves genuinely without judgment or

feature.

-An environment of mutual respect, trust, and care for each member’s experiences and

identities.

-Practices that account for how trauma may impact people’s behaviors, emotions, and need for

control/empowerment.

-Celebration of diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and the unique value each person brings.

-Open and compassionate communication, active listening, and validating each other’s

feelings/experiences.

-Collaborative decision-making that gives members a voice and sense of ownership.

-Consistent reinforcement of the community’s values around authenticity and trauma

awareness.

Non-truths (what you won’t see in a community space where trauma-informed skills are valued):

-Not allowing space for voice and choice, even if folks are in different levels of position/responsibility/skill/tenure.

-Invalidating/minimizing people’s experiences, thoughts, and ideas, even if folks are in different levels of position/responsibility/skill/tenure.

- Being quick to fix and not use active listening, even if folks are in a leadership position, or in charge of making/executing decisions.

-Judging and making assumptions, this goes for anyone, despite levels of position/responsibility.

-One dominant voice/perspective/decision-maker speaking for everyone in the community.

-Failure to own mistakes, admit wrong doing, and work towards repair among members (as needed).

-Anyone trying to be perfect, to avoid mistakes, trying to be better or more elite than others.

-Self-preservation/Self-profit over community held values.

Unveiling the Essence of Trauma-Informed Yoga Training: Online & In-Person at Joy of Yoga with Julie Johnson

Dear Lovely Yoga Teachers and Wellness Professionals:

• I am thrilled to introduce our upcoming Trauma-Informed Yoga Training, a transformative journey designed to empower yoga teachers like you to enhance your teaching skills and create nurturing spaces for individuals with trauma. Join us for an immersive experience that focuses on changing language, honing decision-making, and integrating essential yoga ethics.

• Training Format:

  • One-hour Discussion/Lecture: Engage in enlightening conversations and grasp key concepts of trauma-informed yoga. Explore the profound impact of language on creating a supportive atmosphere and gain practical insights into ethical considerations.

  • Practice Session: Immerse yourself in a mindful yoga practice tailored for trauma-sensitive settings. Experience firsthand the techniques and modifications that can positively benefit the well-being of trauma survivors.

  • Application Opportunity: Put your newfound knowledge into practice in a supportive environment. Through interactive exercises and real-life scenarios, refine your teaching approach to meet diverse needs and foster a trauma-informed yoga practice.

  Duration: A comprehensive 4-hour training that promises to positively influence your teaching journey.

• I will guide you through evidence-based approaches and equip you with practical tools to support trauma survivors on their healing path. Whether you're a seasoned practitioner or just beginning your yoga teaching career, this training will provide you with the skills and sensitivity needed to make a profound difference in the lives of others.

• More about me: “Julie Johnson brings nearly a decade of experience in teaching and training trauma-informed yoga. As the Co-founder of Integrate Trauma-Informed Network and a vetted member of The Breathe Network, Julie is dedicated to developing trauma-informed leadership skills to create a more compassionate world.

• Attendees of this training will have the opportunity to apply to become Integrate Verified and be featured in our directory of trauma-informed professionals following a peer vetting process.

• My hope is that more yoga teachers use this to upskill their trauma informed interpersonal skills, teaching repertoire, foster inclusivity, and contribute to a more empathetic world. REGISTER for this upskill experience

  Warm regards,

  Julie Johnson,

• Integrate Founder, Product Owner and Trainer